On Being Between

There is a way of being between that is a balance, that is a caution and a calculation and a measurement, that is a careful poise on the edge of every possible direction, that is a walk on a line, foot in front of foot, to prove one’s sobriety.  This between is a refusal of any extreme, of any discipline or extravagance, of any sacrifice or excess.  It is a moderate moderation, a balanced balance, a considered consideration.  It is a swallow of warm water.

There is also a way of being between that is a suspense, a tautness and a tensity, a pulling and a straining, that is a dangling in the void, that is a stretching on the rack, inch by inch, to prove one’s faith.  This between is a desire that is both lascivious and ascetic, both wanton and austere, both carnal and sacred, simultaneously.  It hangs between these things.  It is drawn and quartered.  It is agonized and exaltated.  It is a live coal on the tongue.

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