I know this poem sounds like a bad Al Purdy rip-off, but I have actually been reading Al Purdy lately, so tough.
There was an old man at the bar the other night,
And, to be fair, he might have been there a while already.
It took him a few minutes to interrupt me, but then he said,
”That waitress is a fine piece of ass,
And you might be young enough to get some.”
”Married,” I said, and meant it.
”Never stopped me.”
”Well, does me.”
”One set of tits and ass forever, eh?”
”No,” I told him, because he needed to know,
”A woman’s body is never the same twice.
It’s an infinity, never to be compassed,
An endless, boundless pleasure,
And the true lover’s terror is not that he will be sated,
But that each moment he is apart from her is a moment,
Unique and irreplaceable, that will never be again.”
”Whoah! That’s some deep shit,” he said. ”I just fuck em.”
”Yeah,” I said, ”I know.”